Welcome to The Regulated Child with Nicola McAllister.

Strengthening relationships, regulation and resilience.

Self-regulation changes everything.

As parents and professionals, we tend to track milestones such as walking, talking, reading, and writing — and rightly so. But we don’t always give the same attention to a child’s ability to regulate their emotions and stress responses. And yet, this skill underpins everything. Without the capacity to self-regulate, children can struggle with behaviour, learning, relationships, transitions, and problem solving — both at home and in school.
Self-regulation doesn’t develop by completing worksheets or having it explained. It strengthens through repeated, intentional, and co-regulated experiences with a consistent and emotionally available adult — the master regulator.

When we invest in self-regulation, we’re investing in every other area of development too.

Supporting the development of self-regulation requires knowledge, skill and understanding. Through our training and coaching programmes at The Regulated Child we will provide you with a simple framework and practical tools that you can utilise throughout everyday routines that strengthen self-regulation.

Your Regulated Services

  • A young girl with long hair, wearing a gray sweatshirt and light-colored pants, is laughing and holding a lit light bulb close to her mouth, surrounded by hanging light bulbs emitting warm light.

    Online Course

    The Regulated Child online course is a comprehensive yet accessible online training programme for parents, carers, adopters and professionals. It will provide you with both the knowledge and understanding of why children behave in the way that they do while providing you with lots of practical suggestions of how you can support the development of regulation and resilience in your own setting.

    Online course
  • A man with glasses and a beard kissing a young boy on the cheek, both smiling affectionately, in front of a blue garage door.

    Parent Coaching

    Whether you are a birth parent, carer or adoptive parent, caring for a child who doesn’t respond to typical parenting approaches can be both stressful and worrying. We understand this at The Regulated Child. Our parent coaching service is designed to help you better understand your child’s unique needs and how you an better meet those needs while strengthening their emotional regulation. Our sessions offer a safe, compassionate space for you to learn and grow.

    Book an appointment
  • A classroom scene with a smiling female teacher interacting with students. The classroom has alphabet charts, a blackboard with instructions, and colorful student artwork on the walls.

    Training and Support for Schools

    The context in which we teach has changed dramatically over recent years, to be successful we must adapt our teaching approaches and environments to support regulation and engagement. By having a better understanding of the developmental needs and stage of pupils and the importance of predictability and collaboration in reducing stress responses we can create regulated classrooms in which students and staff can thrive.

    Our training and support programmes are suitable for all education settings from early years through to further education and are adapted for you specific context.

    Training and support available
  • A woman with long red hair and a black sleeveless top standing in front of a whiteboard, smiling, with her hands clasped.

    Training for Your Organisation

    We offer a suite of training and support packages for your organisation which develop staff’s understanding of distressed behaviour and how they can respond in ways that develop relationships, provide opportunities for repair and strengthen regulation in children and young people. Training is participative and reflective, building on the existing skill set of participants while providing them with practical ideas that will have a positive impact on their practice and the children and young people they support.

    Explore training opportunities.
  • Three children sitting on a weathered wooden park bench in a forest, overlooking a bridge in the distance during fall with sparse leaves on the ground.

    Fostering and Adoption Programme

    Caring for a child who has experienced insecure attachments and developmental trauma requires a different level of parenting. Typical parenting approaches are ineffective and can retraumatise. It is essential that adoptive parents and carers have a sound understanding of the impact of trauma, where their child is functioning developmentally and how to intentionally support the development of core skills and capabilities.

    Our comprehensive training and ongoing support programme for Fostering and Adoption organisations, provides, adoptive parents, carers and staff with the knowledge, skills and support that the need to sooth stress responses, nurture relationships and strengthen regulation.

    Training and support programme
  • Person with brown hair and glasses sitting at a wooden table, working on a laptop with a design website on the screen, holding a black coffee mug.

    Coming soon. On Demand Webinars

    Life is busy and we don’t always have time to develop our knowledge, understanding and skill base even although we know that it would make a big difference to ourselves and the children and young people we support and care for.

    The Regulated Child is developing a selection of short accessible, engaging webinars that will provide you with all that you need to better understand child development, behaviour, relationships and regulation while providing you with lots of practical ideas and inspiration.

    Browse our webinars

Working in association with:

Logo of Moray Council, featuring a pattern of colorful triangles in purple, blue, and green, with the text 'Moray Council' underneath.
Logo of Musicians' Union with stylized 'MU' icon and text.
Logo of SWIIS Foster Care Scotland with orange text and light blue tagline.
Silhouettes of seven children playing musical instruments with the text 'Big Noise' above them.
Logo for Children in Scotland with a mountain-like design and text in teal.
Logo of The Educational Institute of Scotland with the acronym 'EIS' in purple and the full name written below.
Fife Voluntary Action logo with abstract graphic in green, navy, and light blue, and text in purple.
Logo for Scottish Attachment in Action with stylized S and text in purple, black, and teal.
Logo for Relationships Scotland, an organization providing counselling, mediation, and family support services in Scotland.
Nurtureuk logo with a maroon circular design and the company name in maroon text.
Royal Conservatoire of Scotland logo featuring a black geometric design and text

What they say.

  • Nicola clearly speaks from a professional and personal perspective that brought experience and knowledge to her training. As practitioners, we all like to take away practical ideas for supporting children in our nursery and classrooms and we will definitely use lots of the practical tools and techniques discussed in her presentation.

    Sally Ann Johnson | Robert Gordon’s College | DHT

  • I learned so much during Nicola's presentation, about how the brain and body respond to external stressors, how the child's behaviour is a reflection of the child's inner needs, and of the importance of being able to regulate emotions, etc. etc.! There was so much covered in such a short space of time! I want to learn more, as regards my work, I am an assessing social worker who works with fostering applicants, and I also supervise foster carers. In each situation we always talk about the impact of trauma on children and therapeutic parenting /PACE. This session brought the concept to life so to speak, Nicola made the subject more "user friendly" and therefore I feel that I could talk to the people I am working with in a more informative manner.

    Distressed not Difficult: Recognise & Communicate with Traumatised Children | Children in Scotland

  • Nicola takes you on a journey of gentle reflection and discovery, whilst considering approaches and behaviour through a lens of therapeutic parenting techniques. Her expertise drawn from professional and personal experience is delivered in a straightforward non jargonistic manner which enables attendees to be curious and wonder about their own parenting. It culminates in being curious and wondering about how parents/carers/teachers can themselves adapt to provide the optimal base for individual children to grow and develop.

    Ruth Caldwell | Fostering Service | Learning and Development Manager